Life Goals

 

Ever since I turned 50 last year, I've been having dreams of what I could do if I didn't have to commit so much of my life working a 9 to 5 job in order to earn a living and make ends meet. 

There were many years that I dreamed about opening my own RPG/comic book shop. A place where people can not only come to purchase all things they need for their likes, but also provide a great place to be able to host games and community events. I'd love to be able to carry on the traditions of my former LCS Tony's Kingdom of Comics, but I've come to realize that I don't have the finances nor the business acumen to be able to start or run a business. Also, I've come to realize that opening a store like this would not be economically feasible or sustainable with so much product being made in digital formats now.

As of late, I've started dreaming of different endeavors that I could take on that may or may not actually turn out to be money-making but more of something I would enjoy doing and even be able to give something back to the community. Not nearly in the same way as Tony once did, but something nonetheless. 

For starters, I want to be able to actually commit myself to developing the various TTRPG ideas that I have had over the years like Salem By Night and Project Multiverse. I would also like to create a type of archive for homebrew TTRPG material. I have a ton of printed pages of old plot hooks, character sheets and other material I think other people would enjoy to read and possibly even use in their own adventures.

I recently thought it would be a great idea to open an account on World Anvil to begin the process of bringing these projects to light. I would like to also open it up for fellow creatives to help design the worlds I have trapped in my head.

There's also a part of me that would like to try and get back into the creative process of writing a comic book like I did when I was younger. Maybe even go so far as to actually write some of the crazy ideas I had for stories when I was in high school. I used to have a notebook I would write down ideas for stories. I still remember 1 or 2 of them that I think might actually be worth flushing-out into short stories. There was a time in my life that I thought I would become a published writer.

My biggest problems to accomplishing any of this are as follows:

• I feel like I don't have any time to devote to these projects because I have to spend so much of my time working. In other words, I've got bills to pay and need to make money in order to pay them.
• I have always been a procrastinator, and it has been very hard to overcome this problem. Even when I write for my blog, it is very sporadic and I typically write for only a few hours in the early mornings on the weekend because I'm awake, I don't have any serious disruptions and the mood strikes me.

At this point, I don't have enough money to be able to retire early, so I have occasionally taken to purchasing lottery tickets hoping that I'll win enough to be able to make this fantasy into a reality. I'm not investing into this theory as I only play $20 every few weeks. I know the odds are against me, but I only play the state lottery so at least my money is going to help local projects.

The reason for writing this is to get these feeling off my chest and out into the world. I feel that if you put something positive out into the world, there's a chance that it can actually become a reality. I would love it if by publishing this I could help to manifest a path towards achieving these dreams.

Inspiration for D&D

I recently came across this video in my FB Reels feed, and it gave me a swell of inspiration to star DMing again after I'm not sure how many years after feeling the burn-out.

Reel from @dianaoftherose on IG

This video speaks to the option of what to do when you TPK your group. I have never experienced this issue in my 40 years of role playing, but a few years ago I was almost part of a TPK in a D&D game that was being run virtually during the Covid pandemic.

To give some perspective, I have been primarily gaming in White Wolf's classic World of Darkness. I started playing Vampire: The Masquerade when the 2nd edition was first coming out back in the 90's. I did manage to play some Dungeons & Dragons again when Wizards of the Coast published 3rd edition. I always enjoyed playing in the high fantasy world of D&D, but the fact that I spent the better part of almost 30 years in a more modern setting with the World of Darkness really caused a drain on my imagination for D&D.

I never really got into 4th edition, but when 5th edition came out, my interest was peaked again to try and get back into high fantasy. My biggest problems were:

• As much as I appreciate the published materials/adventures, I have a few ideas of some homebrew locations that I would like to incorporate into my campaign. I know that I can work to adapt things to suit my needs, but I don't think I've ever actually settled on an actual end goal.
• Though I have had over 40 years of experience roleplaying, I still have a great deal of anxiety of running a game again. When I was in my 20's, I would regularly run both tabletop and LARP games as a DM/ST. I enjoyed this, but it again has been many years since I've been able to do this for a high fantasy setting.
• Like many role-players, I have social anxiety that really inhibits me from socializing with people. This creates a huge issue when considering a play ground. I have 2 close friends that I am comfortable gaming with, but 2 people do not make a decent sized adventuring group for a game like D&D.
• In past games, I have always run them in Theatre of the Mind as opposed to using miniatures and maps. While this has been alright when playing in the World of Darkness, the past couple of years playing in a 5E game has shown me the wonders of using minis and maps; especially using tools like D&D Beyond and Roll20. I want to be able to provide a fun time for my players so my desire is wanting to be able to use minis and maps, but my anxiety makes me feel that if I don't have all the right resources that my attempt will fall flat. Ginny Di recently posted a video regarding the debate between Theatre of the mind and using minis and maps. It was a good watch but also helped to feed into my anxiety. While I have been working to build a collection of minis and resources, the back of my mind keeps telling me that it's not enough.
• Several years ago, I thought about designing a new RPG system that would incorporate a multiverse experience similar to Paladium's Megaverse settings, but my motivation became overwhelmed when I saw all the prospective systems being designed and published through the likes of Kickstarter. Right now, at age 50, I don't feel like I should spend my remaining time on this word attempting to recreate/redesign the wheel.

Going back to the beginning of this whole thing, the video gave me a hit of inspiration to put aside my anxiety and try to focus on just trying to run a campaign with the big hope to kill off some of the characters so that I can run a side game to bring them back from whatever afterlife they may have fallen into. I'm starting to feel hopeful for the possibility to giving some friends an entertaining time in the high fantasy world of D&D again. We shall see what comes of this hope and perhaps this will be a new focus of writings here.

Project Multiverse RPG

 

I have been role playing for 36 years now, and I have played a wide variety of systems. From basic D&D to World of Darkness and so much in between. And I have enjoyed most of the systems I have had the pleasure of gaming with.

Around middle school, I started playing in the Palladium RPG system with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles & Other Strangeness. From there, we also played Heroes Unlimited, Beyond the Supernatural and Robotech. In 1990, Palladium released the game-changer; Rifts. This finally connected all the different game setting that Palladium had published and allowed the possibility of them to interact with one another. I loved this idea!

In D&D, yes there were other realms and planes of existence, but this seemed so much more. You could take your super-powered heroes into the Robotech universe to take on the likes of the Zentradi or Invid. Or how about taking your paranormal investigator and dropping them into the magic-meet-machine world of Rifts? The possibilities were endless, and my role playing group took liberty with those ideas. They were probably some of the most fun games I had played in my youth.

Bring the clock forward to modern time. When I tried to look for a new game to play, as I have been playing in the World of Darkness for over 20 years, I was having a difficult time recapturing that sense of fun with the Palladium system. It has not aged well over the past 3+ decades, and I could feel the flaws in the system that I had overlooked way back when. I couldn't find a single system that had the feel of what I was looking for, nor the multiple setting that I was craving.

In my dilemma, I created an opportunity. Since I couldn't find what I was looking for, why don't I try to design it? People seem to be doing it all over, and getting their dreams realized through things like Kickstarter.

I also know that I can't do this by myself, so I'm working to put together a team of fellow gamers so we can collectively pull together our experience to create a great new TT RPG system. Once the team has been established and we have forward progression, I hope to post monthly updates here.